Random Ranting…

Memoirs of the bi-polar.

Posted on: November 21, 2009

Am I allowed to self diagnose?

I’m really beginning to think I might be manic depressive. As I’m sure anyone who has ever met me knows, I can be in a mint mood, really happy and confident and 100% stress free… but I have times where I feel like screaming, don’t see the point in waking up and dread the rest of my life…

I’m not depressive in a suicidal kind of way, don’t get me wrong. I’m not about to top myself. I don’t want things to end – I want them to change.

I guess I just wish I could do something different with my life, to pack up and move far away and start it all again – and hopefully not mess it all up and end up a loner all over again. Everyone keeps telling me lame things like ‘well do something about it’ or ‘go out and meet people’ but it’s not as simple as that! I go out, I meet people, then they walk off and I never see them again. Apparently I’m not interesting enough to keep people talking…either that or I panic and run…

Ah well, guess I’ll send out invitations next time I’m organising a pity party like this one…

Have one of my favourite songs from the best film I’ve ever seen – New Moon. Lykke Li – Possibility♫ http://blip.fm/~goiqh Enjoy!

2 Responses to "Memoirs of the bi-polar."

I think you may secretly be my twin

Apparently BPD manifests in early adulthood, but can also take years to diagnose properly so we might be waiting a while…but whats odds that you dont drink… You should, its fun xx

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